Dear Mister Blake Patterson,
Will you please consider opening up the “Byte Cellar” – which some people have dubbed the ultimate man cave – to a tenant? ((Although I have my misgivings about the use of “man cave” as opposed to [whatever] cave, I am not a feminist. I am female though, so I’d rather change the label just so I can be allowed to enter.)) I promise not to be a slob. I promise to keep liquids a foot away – at least – from your wonderful machines. I promise to be so quiet you won’t even know I am there.
I also swear that I will not change any settings on any machine. I will not even rearrange the icons on your desktop(s).
I simply want to bask in the pleasure that your museum-like man cave will surely give. I want to see with my own eyes and touch (with supervision, if it pleases you) those machines that I have only ever read about.
Please, Mr. Patterson?
The Digital Hobo
P.S. I am a reasonably good cook, and I clean up after myself.